The Nice Guy wants everyone to like him, so he appears to be “Nice.” However, most of his “nice guy” behaviors end up leaving him feeling frustrated and alone. As a result, the Nice Guy is anything but nice.

Here's some things a nice guy does in order to get people to like him:

• He’s the guy who will tell white lies to avoid feeling discomfort about the truth. He lies by omission, leaving out details that others might perceive as flaws.
• He’s the guy who will do nice things as covert contracts. He has unspoken expectations that he’s hoping will be returned. Of course, when his expectations go unmet he develops a resentment and acts out in a passive aggressive way.
• Ultimately the Nice Guy is someone who fears rejection and seeks validation from others. His mode of operation is to act nice hoping others will tell him he’s good, kind and worth while.
• The Nice Guy hates himself and has a subconscious belief that he is unlovable just as he is. He’s sure that if anyone finds out who he really is they will reject him.
• He’s the kind of guy who will say yes to everything to avoid rejection and hoping to gain approval. Since deep down he doesn’t want to do the thing he has said yes to, he develops an unspoken resentment that carries over into his relationships.
• A Nice Guy will tell a pretty lie to avoid the discomfort of telling an ugly truth. A good man will deliver the truth, however unpleasant because his integrity will not let him deceive anyone for his own comfort.
• The Nice Guy tends to play the victim role; he blames others, circumstances and the universe for his situation.
• This guy will make promises to please others, then fails to follow through or do it half-assed. If you call him on it, he will turn it around and make it seem like it is your fault.
• He wants to be the hero and often finds partners who are in need of “fixing." This is often so he can unconsciously stay superior in the relationship. But then when things get tough he disappears or ghost out from the relationship.
• The Nice Guy will acquiesce his power to others. He’s afraid of making mistakes and disappointing others for fear of rejection. This creates an internal void where he is unsure what his needs really are.
• He’s the guy who stays stuck in his job and career because it’s safe. Since he lacks leadership skills, he’s often overlooked for career advancements and then is resentful towards his employer.
• He’s the kind of guy who will tell you what you want to hear then turn around and do the thing he wants to do and blame it on your communication.
• The Nice Guy is looking for the easy way. He knows there is a backdoor and will try to find it even if it takes him on a longer path.  He’s always looking for the quick and easy fix.
• He the guy who will settle: bad sex, bad career, and bad life. The result is he lives his life in quiet desperation, hoping that someone is going to come along and save him.
• He has an unconscious belief that in order to be loved, he has to take shit from others and has a difficult time setting boundaries. 
• In the end, the Nice Guy is anything but nice.

THE RESULT OF BEING A NICE GUY: YOUR RELATIONSHIPS SUCK.

People looking at you from the outside might think you have it all… a family, a home, a career, and yet on the inside you are dying a slow death. If anyone really knew you they would see that you are “completely faking it.” Your sex life is lifeless; you hate your job; so you isolate, watch too much TV, look at porn and drink more than you should. Perhaps you have even have had an affair (or just thought about it). You do whatever it takes to distract you from that inner-pain because at a core level, you are terrified of being found out….So you just go on pretending like everything is just fine…until you explode. If this is you, I can help.

If this sounds like you, guess what? You’re not alone, and there is hope. It is possible to become a better person, a better parent, and to like even who you see in the mirror.

Hi, my name is Chuck Chapman and I’m a certified No More Mr. Nice Guy Coach.  I work with guys just like you everyday helping them find ways to shed the guilt and shame and overcome the Nice Guy Behaviors that are holding them back.

Not going it alone is the most important thing. Finding a coach, joining a group, or taking a course are the fastest ways to change your Nice Guy Behaviors.  I’m passionate about what I do because seeing people grow, change and live from a place of authenticity is amazingly gratifying.  My hope is that you walk away from our time together with tools that will help you have a better life.

My sole purpose and hopeful intentions in coaching is to contribute toward helping men live better lives.

I invite you to explore this site, and check out what I do. I will be adding to it so keep checking back. Don't forget to sign up for my newsletter and I'll send you my new book "The Integrated Man: A 30 Journal for Overcoming The Nice Guy Syndrome"