Way of the Superior Man Chapter 15 is titled “Stop hoping or your woman to get easier.”
In the chapter Deida says:
“Perhaps you have been working towards some financial goal, and finally you have succeeded. After years of effort, you creatively earned a large amount of money. You feel happy, full, successful. You feel great. You come home to your woman and want to share the news with her. ‘I just made a million dollars today.’
‘That’s nice!!!??? You know how hard I’ve been work for this.’
‘I know. It feels like I haven’t’ seen you in months. Did you remember to pick up the milk on the way home?’”
I just had one of these moments. This morning I finished a the first draft of a book that I’ve been working on for the last 18 months. My wife was still in bed. I went in and said “Babe! I finished the first draft!” “That’s nice she said…. Oh and don’t forget you promised you were going to unclog the shower. Do you want me to make a list of things I need you to do today?” “That’s nice!! Do you want me to make you a list!!!???”
Why do women do this? I had to remind myself that Deida said “Of courses, she knows how much this moment of success means to you. This is precisely why she negating it. Not because she wants to hurt you, But because she wants to feel Shiva. She wants to feel our strength. She wants to feel your happiness is not dependent on her response, nor on you making a million dollars, she wast to feel you are a superior man.” He goes on to say “Your success doesn’t mean shit to her unless you are free and loving. And if you are free and loving, nothing she says can collapse you. She wants to feel you are uncollapsible, so she pokes you in your weak spot.”
So I am practicing being uncollapsible today by being free and loving. My happiness is not dependent on her response. I simply lean into my power and strength…. Which is easier said than done.
If you’re looking for something to do Today (after your list of chores are done of course), read Chapter 15 in Way of the Superior Man.