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Rule Number Eleven for Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome

30 rules for overcoming the nice guy syndrome Feb 05, 2020

Nice Guys are "Yes" men. Nice Guys say "yes" not because they want to say yes; because they desperately want people to like them. The Nice Guy fears that if he says "no," he will look bad and piss people off.

Since the Nice Guy has said "yes" to things he doesn't actually want to do, he becomes resentful, overwhelmed, and angry. Instead of doing an excellent job at whatever it is that he said yes to, in his passive-aggressive anger, he does a half-assed job. Being sub-par is a Nice Guy strategy of both laziness and hoping that the next time he won't be asked to do anything in the future.

Rule eleven gives us a novel method for overcoming this behavior. Simply learn to say "no."

Saying "no" when you don't want to do something is being honest. It prevents you from developing resentments that lead to anger, which leads to "acting out" the rage. When you combine this rule with rule ten, "being clear and direct," you can honestly say, "No, thank you, I'm not able to do that." and be on your way. Your answer might piss them off, but in the long run, you will gain self-respect.

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