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Rule Number Sixteen for Overcoming the Nice Guy Syndrome

30 rules for overcoming the nice guy syndrome Feb 10, 2020

As I've worked with recovering Nice Guys over the last decade, I've noticed something alarming; how much shit these men put up within their relationships. Nice Guys will put up with bad behaviors over and over, but because of their Nice Guy Syndrome, they suck it up and take it. They're like an emotional sponge absorbing the emotions of their partners, bosses, parents, and so-called friends.

Now, I'm not saying their Nice Guy tendencies don't trigger anger in others, because they do! However, Nice Guys will make a lot of allowances.

Here are just some of the things I've seen Nice Guys tolerate:
Being called names (asshole, faggot, worthless), being sworn at, being yelled at, passive-aggressiveness, being hit physically, being threatened with divorce, alcoholism, drug addiction, infidelity, the list goes on. When other men would walk away, Nice Guys are afraid to take action.

These men are so used to being abused that they often don't even recognize bad behaviors. Their toxic shame conveniences them that they deserve what they get.  Dr. Glover has an excellent method of questioning if the behavior is bad; he asks, "If this behavior showed up on a second date, would there be a third?" If the answer is "No," then you are dealing with bad behavior!

Learning to set boundaries with others is one of the steps in recovering from the Nice Guy Syndrome. I'll talk more about that in the next rule. 

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