Rule Number Twenty for Overcoming the Nice Guy SyndromeFeb 14, 2020
Because the Nice Guy seeks external validation, he is often susceptible to peer pressure. His desperate need to be liked by others influences the Nice Guy to do things he wouldn't do if he were alone. Even if something feels wrong to him, if others are doing it, he will go with the flow rather than taking a stand. When he does this, he is out of integrity with his values. Because he is disingenuous with himself, the toxic shame continues to erode his self-esteem.
The Nice Guy has never taken the time to define what his values and virtues. He never developed a no code of honor, which he lives by, so he is easily swayed into doing what is expedient, rather than what is essential.
An Integrated Man has a code of honor. He has clearly defined a set of virtues to guide his actions. The Integrated Man has decided what feels right to himself and takes action. His decisions are based on his internal compass, and he moves with integrity towards achieving the best version of himself. The Integrated Man realizes when he is out of integrity, then moves swiftly to come back into alignment with his values.
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